Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
