I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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