Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Small penises have feelings too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
