Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
