Sponge bath it is.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
