This is not my ceiling
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
