Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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