There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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