im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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