Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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