he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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