is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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