Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
