I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
