I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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