Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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