I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
