You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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