we have officially lost it.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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