Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
nutella sex= disaster
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
