i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
