in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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