I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize