Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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