ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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