Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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