Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
