Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
