remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
