You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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