she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
