What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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