Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
