I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
