Whod you bang
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
