Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
