saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
