what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
