this beer tastes like vomit already
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize