This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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