I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize