I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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