dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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