"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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