I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
