I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
