Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
