Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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