i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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