its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
