So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize