Yo dont text me then not text me
Non-Jews are for practice
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
