i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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