That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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