hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
