Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
