and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
