Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience

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(231): View more from Michigan

A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.

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(760): View more from California

so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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(410): View more from Maryland

Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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(406): View more from Montana

I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself

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(207): View more from Maine

So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.

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(631): View more from New York

i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise

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